Conspiracy Theory (episode 1)

This is Lou Finkle...and THIS is Conspiracy Theory.

On today's show we look at UFO's and are they secretly taking my mail of out my mailbox.

My wife says it's impossible. She says "Why would aliens come millions and millions of light years across space to Red Pearl, Alabama just to steal your mail, Lou?" And I look at her and I say "Go make me a sandwich and leave me alone will 'ya"

But, she has a point I'd like to go over if you don't mind.

How do you learn about the human condition? How do you know a person's habits and customs? How do you learn how to predict a human or foretell how they will act? That's right...you check his mail.

I've got a stack of mail right here....electric...gas....water...Oh, see here...it's a catalog from Sears.

I like Sears, me and my wife enjoy a lot of their things from there. She's getting old now, so I get out the power drill and....well never mind...when you've been married long enough you know exactly what you need a power drill for. And you don't think the aliens want to know what I'm doing with my power drill?

I was in my bedroom the other night and I saw them looking in the window laughing!

I said "Hey you space aliens, get away from my window! I'm calling the cops! I swear to God, I'll call 'em!"...After that they ran away.

So, I went to Sears and bought a lock to put on my mailbox.

My wife says "How will we get our mail, Lou?"...I like it when she calls me by my first name. We've been married 35 years and she doesn't think I know she's talking to me...anyway.

I got a post office box now. Let's see those space aliens try and get into that sucker.

This has been Lou Finkle....and THIS has been Conspiracy Theory.