Lou is out sick today, I'm Ann Finkle...and THIS is Conspiracy Theory.
Today we're going to ask "Will the government lock up fat people in the year 2025."
Now, a lot of you left wing morons write me nasty comments on Twitter when I started this question. Ha! Guess what lefties, I'm writing this and you can't stop me. My husband Lou has a small stomach virus he got from a Indian restaurant down the street. I told Lou the Patel family wasn't trying to poison you, there was just some bad shrimp in the curry-n-rice, but he kept saying I'm going to make this my next show "Are Indians trying to take over America by poisoning us." I told him, if you do that show somebody will sue us Lou.
Anyway, I thought up the topic for the show today ladies. This blog wasn't friendly to women before. But, that changes starting tonight.
Now ladies, we all hate it when we see a outfit that's on sale but they only have it in size 0. Those bastards could make that same dress in a normal size....but Noooooo. They want to keep those anorexic bitches in good clothes with their pretty hair and nails.
That's not by accident, either. Somebody is telling them to do it! It's the government.
You see, it's all part of their plan to lock up fat people. They are going to put us in concentration camps...in Cuba!
OBAMA is getting all friendly with the Castro brothers, because Castro is already locking up fat women over there and Obama wants to put some Americans in those camps.
They'll do it real slow at first. They'll start with midgets and those people who watch Big Bang Theory. And we'll all be okay with it at first.
But, then they'll go after the fat women. They'll try to trick us with free cruise ship tickets and all-you-can-eat-buffets, but as soon as you get off the boat, one of the boat people will hit you over the head and take you away to the concentration camp. And you'll sit there...sure they'll have food....healthy food. God-damn HEALTHY FOOD!
They'll have broccoli sticks and carrot straws and cauliflower. I swear to God, if I have to eat cauliflower I'm going to have to kill a bitch!
The clock says my time is up...well ladies...I don't know if Lou will be better for the next blog, but until then. If someone offers you cauliflower...your going to have to kill 'em.
-I'm Ann Finkle
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